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Panicked Dreams

Early this morning, I woke up with a sense of panic. You know, the kind where you have a pit in your stomach, your heart is beating fast, and you just *know* that something bad/sad is going to happen? Upon reflection, I had a dream in which I was looking through an old notebook that Arya had drawn in while she was growing up. Numerous small drawings showcased the progression of her artistic talent, allowing you to see how it developed. These are real notebooks...I have one that I use for work, and the last few pages are her scribbled drawings from early elementary school.

I do believe that I'm grappling with the fact that she's got one more year left at home before she leaves for college. I'm happy and excited for the next phase of her life, but I will miss her so much. I know she has every intention to come back home over the holidays, summers, etc., and maybe even when she's done at school. She knows that she always has a place with us, regardless. I also realized that what I'm feeling mirrors how I felt my senior year of high school, when I knew that my family was moving to California, within days of my high school graduation. I would wake up filled with anxiety and dread each day, knowing there was a countdown to a substantial change in my life. And now, it's like there's another countdown to launching our Arya-bird from the nest!

But, it'll all be ok. Because this is normal and exactly what should happen. "Healthy birds leave the nest."

Thanks, Google, for this emotional reminder!


Tonight is the first marching band competition of the season. We're excited to see the RHSMB perform. I haven't seen them yet in their uniforms, with props, etc. As long as the rain holds off, it should be a fun night! Go Irish! 🍀💙🎺

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